Sermon: My Son, My Son

Would you take a copy of God's word this morning? We're gonna turn open to the book of Second Samuel as we continue our way through that book this morning. Second Samuel chapter 18, verse 19 through 19 verse eight. If you want to use a pew Bible right in front of you, turn to page 2 7 0 in the pew Bible 2, 7, 0 this morning. We're again looking at two Samuel chapter 18, verse 19 to chapter 19 verse eight,

and let's ask for God's blessing upon the reading and the preaching of the word before we open it this morning.

Our Father, we come before you this morning even as we just sung in prayer. So we say in prayer even now that we trust in you, we trust that you are a God who is living. We trust that you are a God who has spoken and even speaks. Now we pray that even as we sit in this place, that it would be your son, the Lord Jesus, that preaches to us this word and that we are sitting under this word and that our hearts are turned to trust you more,

to be encouraged where it is lacking, to be found, where it is absent for your worthy of all of our trust and all of our hope and all of our faith. And we come before you and ask for your blessing even now in Christ's name. Amen. This morning, two Samuel chapter 18, verse 19 through chapter 19 verse eight. This is the holy and errant sufficient word of God. Then Ahaz, the son of ach, said, let me run and carry news to the king

that the Lord has delivered him from the hand of his enemies. And Joe AB said to him, you are not to carry the news today. You may carry news another day, but today you shall carry no news because the king's son is dead. Then Joab said to the Cushite, go tell the king what you have seen. The cushite bowed before Joab and ran. Then I min as uh, the son of Ox said again to Joab, come what may let me also run after the cushite.

And Joab said, why will you run my son seeing that you will have no reward for the news? Come what may? He said, I will run. So he said to him, run then a him as ran by the way of the plane and outran the kush. Now David was sitting between the two gates and the watchman went up to the roof and the gate of the gate by the wall, and when he lifted up his eyes and looked, he saw a man running alone. The watchman called out and told the king,

and the king said, if he's alone, there is news in his mouth. And he drew near and near the watchman, saw another man running and the watchman called to the gate and said, see another man running alone. The king said, he also brings news. The watchman said, I think the running of the first is like the running of ah as the son of Zadak. And the king said, he's a good man and comes with good news. Then Ahaz cried out to the king, all is well.

And he bowed before the king with his face to the earth and said, blessed be the Lord your God who has delivered up the men who raised their hand against my Lord the king. And the king said, is it well with the young man Absalom? Ah, Himes answered When Joab sent the king's servant, your servant, I, I saw a great Commis commotion, but I do not know what it was. And the king said, turn aside and stand here. So he turned aside and stood still.

And behold the cushite came and the cushite said, good news for my Lord, the king, for the Lord has delivered you this day from the hand of all who rose up against you. The king said to the cushite, is it well with the young man Absalom? And the cushite answered, may the enemies of my Lord the king and oh who rise up against you for evil, be like that young man. And the king was deeply moved and went up to the chamber over the gate and wept.

And as he went, he said, oh my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom, would I had died instead of you. Oh Absalom, my son, my son. I was told Joab, behold the king is weeping and mourning for Absalom. So the victory that day was turned into mourning for all the people. For the people heard that day the king is grieving for his son and that people stole into the city that day as people steal in who are ashamed when they flee in battle,

the king covered his face and the king cried with a loud voice, oh my son, Absalom. Oh Absalom, my son, my son. Then Joab came into the house to the king and said, you have today covered with shame. The faces of all your servants who have this day saved your life and the lives of your sons and your daughters and the lives of your wives and your concubines because you love those who hate you and hate those who love you.

For you have made it clear today that commanders and servants are nothing to you for today. I know that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead today, then you would be pleased. Now therefore arise, go out and speak kindly to your servants for I swear by the Lord. If you do not go, not a man will stay with you this night and there will be worse for you than all the evil that has come upon you from your youth until now than the king arose.

And he took a seat in the gate and the people were all told, behold the king is sitting in the gate and all the people came before the king, though the grass withers and the flower fades. The word of God is forever. Thanks be to God. Amen.

Let me remind us of where we're at here in two kings. You'll remember that David is king over Israel, but his kingship is under duress. His son, Absalom has rebelled against him and Absalom has moved into the city of Jerusalem and has forced David out of the city. He has taken David's concubines, he has taken David's throne and then David collects Absalom collects a large army and he takes that army outside of Jerusalem to go

and to fight against David's army. And you'll remember that text last week that in God's great providence that Joab leads David's army and that army, David's army defeats absalom's army. But you also remember that Joab did not heed David's command to his generals to be kind and to be gracious towards his son Absalom and Joab had put Absalom to death. Our text this morning is if it was World War ii, it would be V Day or VJ Day.

This is celebration day, the war is over. Israel has been saved. David is on the throne. All of his enemies have been vanquished except his son is dead a him. As we have met before in the book of two Samuel, he was a loyal young man to David. He was often used as a messenger and he wants to deliver this news of the victory to David. But Joab, the commander of the army, knows that David will be looking for the news about his son Absalom.

And this is Joab at his best. He is not a great man. He is not a man. We are to look to in this book for an example, but here he's seeking to be sensitive to the king and he knows that this news will grip the king and it will become a very sad day for the king. And so he says to Ahaz in verse 20, he says, you are not to carry the news today because the king's son is dead. He's not going to take this well.

Joab decides and said that he's going to send to David a foreigner, a cushite, let him deliver the news and let him receive the bad response that David surely will have. To that news. The Cushite sets off at a run, but a menna like many young men, he is filled, filled with zeal. Proverbs 19, two, zeal without knowledge is not good. This is a common folly of young men. And so a menna pleads with Joab again in verses 22 and 23.

Let me run with the news. And Joab like the folly of many older men, is tired and finally relents and gives in and he says, fine, go. So Ames runs and he, he runs like the wind. He takes a different route from the cushite. The Cushite most believed went through uh, those woods, the forest of efram where the battle was at. And so he was slowed down, whereas this young man that is zealous could run by the planes and he ran fast

and he will arrive first to David, David rightly surmises as they notice that it must be a menez on his way. David Riley surmises that this is a good man. So he comes with good news and when he arrives, he pronounces good news. Verse 28, he yells, all is well, literally shalom, peace, goodness, good. And he gives a report of the battle. The enemy has been defeated. But David, you'll notice in text, he doesn't care about the battle.

There's no question about the battle. It's as if he didn't even hear the news about the battle. He immediately asked the question in verse 29, is it well with the young man Absalom and now Menez, a zeal is checked. Immediately he realizes that Joab, the old man, knew something about David and all of a sudden his burning zeal flickers out and he lies.

I don't know, I saw a commotion. They were all getting together and they were talking about something, but I don't know what it was.

Ah, here comes that Cushite enter the cushite. He reports very similarly victory. King David again has the same response. He has one concern. Verse 32, is it Well with the young man, Absalom, the cushite has not been warned though. And so he answers with glee. Verse 32, may the enemies of my Lord the king and all who rise up against you for evil, be like that young man. It's inferred, it's clear. Absalom is destroyed.

He's dead. He's gone.

David has no commendation. He has no thankfulness, not to his army, not the God. His only response is what we are told in verse 32. He was deeply moved and he went up to the chamber over the gate and wept and the people heard him cry over and over, oh, my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom, would I had died instead of you. Oh, Absalom, my son, my son,

My son. He says it four times in this lament and then the text seems to say, he's just saying it over and over. They're just hearing this cry over and over. As he's in this upper room over the gate, the rejoicing of the battlefield has turned into to mourning in the palace

chapter 19. It, it continues. Look at the language. Verse one, Joab is told that the king is weeping and mourning for Absalom. Verse two, the victory that day was turned into mourning. We read the king is grieving for a son. Verse three, the people stole into the city as if they were ashamed. Verse four, the king covered his face and cried with a loud voice again, that same refrain, oh my son, Absalom. Oh Absalom, my son, my son.

And that verse 33 where he says, look, I wish that I had died instead of Absalom.

Why? Well, I'll give you three reasons this morning.

First is a father's grief, second to father's guilt. And then third, where we'll spend most of our time this morning on father's fear, grief, guilt, fear. First a father's grief. Grief is real. And David's is palpable in the text, oh, my son, my son, my son.

There are a few things worse in this life than losing a child. In many ways we, we could say that there's nothing more unnatural. God rooted the bond between parent and child and his creation. Nothing is more unnatural than hating your child. And nothing is more natural than loving your child. And when that child is taken,

it's real grief, you know, Absalom saw David as his enemy, but David saw Absalom as his son. That's My son, and my son just died. Griefs real. It was three years ago Friday that that shooter walked onto Michigan State's campus and it will literally be a night. I never forget, uh, pastor Kevin McKelvey and I were called down and went down to the the pavilion on campus because at the pavilion they were reuniting parents

with their students at the pavilion. That's where they were to meet. And so we were going around and ministering to the different parents and, and it was pretty apparent to us within a couple hours of being there, we knew this parents, these parents and these parents had not received a text or a phone call from their children, but every other parent had, and we knew hours before they did. And then when they came in and told those parents that it was their children that died,

that were killed, that were murdered,

the cries of grief, I mean they will ring in my head for the rest of life,

they lost their child.

It's, it's real grief.

Some of you have lost a friend, you've lost a parent, you've lost a spouse, you've lost a child. And you know, grief is real

Greater the love, the greater the grief. When Jesus looked out over that city of Jerusalem and he knew the, the destruction that was coming to that city, he looked out over those people and it was grief. He, he Wept. Well, when he is at the tomb of Lazarus and his friend has died and has entered into that tomb, and Mary and Martha are there and they're weeping by the tomb, he sees the effect of death and and this, this grief that is afflicted to him.

And he struck with grief and he Weeps. He cries.

Grief is not a sign of unfaithfulness. It's a sign of true humanity.

This is a father's grief. David has lost his son. Even you think it lazarus's tomb. Jesus knows he is going to raise Lazarus from the grave and hope in the resurrection reframe sorrow. It doesn't erase it lost wounds. Grief is real. This is a father's grief and it was right again, grief is not a sign of unfaithfulness. You're not wrong to weep. David wept. Jesus wept.

But it wasn't simply a father's grief. I think it was also second to father's guilt

when David stood on that balcony when he was supposed to be out at war and he gazed out and he saw that woman bathing down below. And then he called her to himself and not only called her to himself but chose delay with her and then not only delay with her, but to try and hide all of that in secrecy and then to put her husband to death. He, he had cast the die. His sin had cast the die for more sin.

I remember when Nathan, the prophet confronted him and prophesied to him in chapter 12. He said, the sword shall not depart from your house because you have despised me and have taken the wife of your raya, the hittite to be your your wife. And the Lord said, I will raise up evil against you out of your own house. David was in a very special place of privilege and position. He was the covenant king of Israel. God had made covenant with him

and he had this place of prestige and this place of responsibility and this place where he was to operate in covenant faithfulness and he didn't.

And so as Nathan prophesied, so it happens, Amon, David's son will look at his half sister Tamar and he will lust after her even as David lusted after Bathsheba. And he will sleep, rape her even as David slept with Bathsheba and David will do nothing.

And so Absalom Tamar's full brother, will kill Amon, his half brother and David does nothing.

You have in his family sexual immorality and frater side and lying and deception and scheming and rebellion and it's all tied back to David's covenant and faithfulness to God. He has real guilt. And I think in part that's why he wishes that he was taking Absalom's place that I died instead of him.

Guilt multiplies grief. But third, this is where we'll spend most of our time this morning. There is a father's fear, not just grief, not just guilt but fear. If only it had been my life instead of his life.

Why would David say that again? In in part I think it's because David knew that if he perished that day instead of Absalom, it was well with David soul. Great sinner though he was, he was a repentance sinner. Great though was his guilt greater still. He knew the mercy of God to be David knew this. He confesses it in many places. ONM 51 being one of the prime examples. He knows God can forgive. He says, according to your abundant mercy,

blot out my transgressions. But he knows more than that. He knows that God will forgive. He says a broken and contrite heart. Oh God, you will not despise. He knew he was forgiven,

but this father didn't know. He didn't know whether Absalom, his son had repented.

David knew himself.

This is reality. We only truly know ourselves, our own standing before the Lord. I know my wife better than anybody knows her. I think I know her as well as I know anyone besides myself. And I'm 99.9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9% sure she's going to heaven, has peace with God.

But I don't completely know.

But I know about me how? Because his spirit, his Paul says in Romans eight, bears witness with my spirit that I'm indeed a child of God.

David knows he, he has peace with God. He has confidence.

I wonder if you have that personal confidence today. You can. You should. If you're in Christ, there's an ungodly presumption that says, well, if I commit this or that sin, it's okay because God will just grant me grace and forgiveness. That's an ungodly presumption. But there's a godly presumption that says that I know, I know that if I die today that I will be with Christ and glory. I have peace with God because all of my sins are forgiven.

That's a godly presumption.

People ask, well, how do you know how? How have you really been that good or that faithful or that filled with faith that there's no doubt in your mind really? No. David wouldn't claim that. No believer would claim that. But thank God it's not the measure of my goodness. It's not the measure of my faithfulness. It's not even the measure of my faith. It's the measure of his goodness, his faithfulness. We could even say his faith

and that I know David would take his son's place in death because he knows his own end and he's not trusting in himself. He's trusting in that greater son of his that was yet to come. He knows him. It's not hubris to say, I know that I will be in glory with Christ. And if you've truly believed in him, you know what is hubris is to have believed in him and say, I'm, I'm not sure if I'm going to be in glory. I hope so. That's hubris

'cause he's already declared it. I he's made atonement for your sins. He's washed you as wide as snow. He said on that cross, it is finished.

He's born our griefs. He's carried our sorrows upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace.

David is entrusted himself to this greater sun to come. He knows his end. One of my favorite chapters, my favorite chapter in the Westminster Confess of Faith is chapter 18 on the assurance of salvation and be worth your maybe your Sabbath afternoon as you're resting to take chapter 18 and to read through it. That's just one little paragraph from that chapter. This certainty certainty, this certainty is not a bare conjectural

and probable persuasion grounded upon a fallible hope, but an infallible assurance of faith founded upon the divine truth of the promises of salvation, the inward evidence of those graces, which these promises are made and the testimony of the spirit of adoption witnessing with our spirits that we are children of God, which spirit is the earnest of our inheritance, whereby we are sealed to the day of redemption. Assurance is ours in Christ by the spirit of Christ.

If our faith is in Christ, there's a certainty that that's gifted to you.

It's not equal to salvation, that assurance of salvation, but it's one of the great gifts that accompanies salvation that God's people are to enjoy.

Death for believers brings no more fear. David's happy to embrace it because he, he knows what lies on the other side. For him, death is lost. It's sing. I'm certain Paul says in Romans eight that neither death nor life will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. So I would, David is saying, I would rather be in Absalom's place. Would it be that I had died instead of him because I'm sure about myself,

but he's not so sure about Absalom and rightfully so I haven't seen the, the fruit of repentance and faith in his life.

So pastor, there are different conversations that you over the years will regularly have. And one of them is that I've regularly had over 20 plus years is, is centered on this very thing. It'll be Christian parents or parents that walk up and they will be downcast and you can tell that they are in incredible pain. Um, discouragement, sometimes despairing and there are opening words are usually either one of two things that will either be pastor will you pray for

and then they say the name of their child or they will be talking about their adult seemingly unbelieving child and they will say, pastor, how can I minister to them? What do I do? They often explain how that child is seemingly wandered from the faith that they brought that child up and the fear and admonition of the Lord. They brought them to worship week in and week out. Maybe they were part of Sunday school and brought them to that each week.

Maybe they even came back for Sunday evening services and booked into the day they maybe even practiced family worship at home. They sought to surround them with good Christian friends. They sought to model before them what it looked like to live for and with Christ. They prayed for their child. Sometimes they will even say, my child, in their teenage years when they were in junior high and when they were in high school

or when they were in college, man, they just seemed to exemplify faith in Christ. They seemed to love him,

but now they've seemingly wandered from him, want nothing to do with him,

and they're living as parents. They're, they're left with fear.

Do you do with that? As a believing parent with what appears to be an unbelieving child? They usually offer three encouragement. You remember the past, you pray in the present and you hope for the future. You remember the past, you remember all that word that you sowed in their lives, that how you modeled before them, what it looked like to follow Christ, how you continued to put them in the way of the means of grace, of the word of God that you brought them

to church week in and week out.

Did you do it perfectly? No.

But you sowed the seeds of truth and God says his word will not return void. Isaiah 55, his word is living in active Hebrews four. It brings salvation to those who hear Romans 10. And that word calls out to them for the rest of their lives. Believe. And You trust God to work.

You look back to the past the word sowed. Second, you pray in the present, parents will often ask how they can continue to encourage their child unto faith and yet respect them as an adult. And David you'll remember, I think makes an incredible He, Absalom has fled away. He wants to come back. David brings him back. But for two years David has nothing to do with him. He just puts him in isolation. He's under that kind

of house arrest out there away from David, away from the nation having nothing to do with him. That's not the way you seize moments. You share little gospel truths here and there. Every conversation doesn't have to be an evangelistic sermon. Every conversation shouldn't be an evangelistic sermon. You're Looking for moments Just To put a little pebble of truth in their shoe.

But just as important, I think maybe even more important To be Persistent in prayer, you're to be like the the widow who consistently and constantly is praying for their souls. When you rise in the morning, when you go to bed at night and not just you but you're enlisting friends and you're enlisting family members and you're enlisting your elder and you're enlisting your pastors and saying, would you pray for my child?

The word has been sowed. You sowed that in the past and it's your prayer that now waters that word in the present and you just keep praying

no matter how great their sin, no matter how hard their heart, no matter how firm their resolved, no matter how stride in their tongue, the Lord can convert them in blink of an eye.

Are they too far gone? Of course not. Don't you let our adversary sow that seed of doubt in your head? That's A lie from hell. You Say, well, it it seems impossible. It It seems almost hopeless. Well, I have good news for you. We serve a God who majors in the impossible and hopeless. It's what he Does.

An an ounce of saving faith is saving faith. He, but he granted, could it be that Absalom as he hung upon that tree and Joab thrust those three javelins into him and all of those men of his then began to club him and beat him to death. Could it be that he died in his sins? Yes. Could It also be that as he hung between heaven and earth by his hair and he hung there and he was looking at judgment literally on the horizon

that he remembered those words that his father had taught him and that had been sown in his life and in those final moments that he repented and had faith? Could that be possible? Yes. David doesn't truly know What We do know as Christian parents and what we can hope in as Christian parents is that our God is at work

and the ways that the Lord are often hidden from our eyes when Elijah is there and believes that he is the one faithful prophet left an awe of the land there in one kings and God surprises him and says, no, there there are 7,000 who haven't bowed the knee to deba. God was working.

He Just couldn't see it. When the king of Arum in Second King, six a surrounded Dothan with his great army and Elisha's servant looks out and sees this great enemy army all around the city, he believes that they're going to be destroyed, but he can't see it. God opens his eyes and he sees that the mountains are filled with chariots and horses of fire. There's an angelic army all around. God was at work. He just couldn't see it.

God is always at work even when we don't see it.

He is many more than we know.

So a Christian parent, you spread the truth of his word. Not perfectly. You model before them what it looked like to live for Christ. Not perfectly. You prayed for their souls, not perfectly.

You feel like you are a failure in so many ways. Well Join the club. It has an expansive membership like every single parent that has ever lived on the face of the earth.

But you didn't need to be perfect. He was and he is. And this parenting club, it has a mission statement. It Says, we look to him, we trust in him. We hope in him.

I think too much Christian parenting is viewed through a wrong lens. We're not our children's saviors. You say, I know that. I know you know that. But our belief theology doesn't often match up with our functional theology. We live differently. You keep putting your children in the way of the means of grace. You practice family worship at home. You bring them to cor corporate worship weekend and week out. You pray for them and you look to your father with hope

that he would make our children, his children and that they passed into death. And we hope that they believed, As JC Rouse said, we must feel deeply the danger of those we love who are unconverted, yet we must not despair. While there is life, there is hope. And when life is ended, we must leave them in the hands of a merciful and righteous God. He's merciful and an ounce of saving faith is saving faith.

He said God to us and to our children. This is one of the great covenantal promises and David seems to have forgotten it. He's a God to us and to our children.

He demonstrates no hope here. Zero. He's so caught up in his grief and a kind of moroseness again, grief is right. He's just lost his son, but he's forgotten his greater duty. He is the king and he is a father and he is over the nation. And all of these people are looking at him. He is to exemplify faith and hope in the midst of his grief.

So Joab comes and he rebukes him. As Matthew Henry said, the more eyes we have upon us and the greater our influence is, the more need we have to speak and act wisely and to govern our passions strictly. David is king. You grieve, you lost a son. Oh grieve. But you don't grieve as those without hope

and you don't grieve as those that lack faith or trust in this God.

The effect upon the nation is great that they're not thanking God. They're not celebrating his mercy and delivering them. Soldiers are stealing into the city like a chastised puppy with their tail between their legs and they're coming into the city. And so Joab comes and he rebukes the king. He sees the need for immediate change. It's having too great of an effect. So you look at his language in his speech to David Jobb says verse five, today, this day, verse six,

today, today, today, verse seven this night, David, we need you to repent right now, but we need you in the midst of your grief still to exemplify faith and hope before the nation to still fill your role. All are looking to you.

Joab surely forgets his place. He does not honor the king as king. In fact, he accuses him falsely of hating those who love him and loving those who hate him. It's surely true that David loved his enemies, but he didn't hate his friends. Joab continues to be a severe man of, as we've seen throughout the book. And yet the Lord used Joab to pull David out of his moroseness.

He has responsibilities he can grieve,

but grieving in faith doesn't push out Thanksgiving. It the Christian life is so odd in this way. We can grieve and we can be thankful. Those aren't antithetical in the Christian life. We can grieve and we can be hopeful filled. Those aren't antithetical in the Christian life. We can grieve and lament and still trust him. That's not antithetical in the Christian life. We can grieve and even rejoice. And that's not antithetical in the Christian life.

The Lord's delivered him. It's in the midst of his grief. Could even be thanksgiving for he and the nation. And so verse eight, David goes back to sitting in the gate. He went back to the place that symbolized his ruling over his people. The king was restored. He's back and he's their king, albeit he's a king that's in grief and he's a suffering king.

Raf Davis pointed out about that, that David is indeed a suffering king. But what you'll notice is that he shed tears for his own griefs and his own guilt.

But there was one to come. A son of David, a greater king who who doesn't grieve over his guilt and grieve over his loss and his sins, but rather is one who grieves for our sorrows and carries our guilt. A true man of sorrows, a true king and everlasting king.

One who so triumphs that he doesn't just sit in the city gate, but he sits and thrown above over all things, one that is always worthy of trust. One that we are told that on that last day shall take all of these things away. Every tear shall be wiped away. Grief is done, replaced with rejoicing. Guilt is gone. He carried it. It's replaced with peace. Faith is gone. It's turned to sight. Even hope itself disappears because it's realized.

And all you're left with as the apostle says in one Corinthians 13, you're left with love of this king and glory.

That's a king that is worth entrusting your children to. That's a king worth entrusting yourself to.

That's a king that's worth taking your grief and your guilt and your hope to

and David eventually gets there.

I pray that you know this king, that you know him. Everlastingly. Let's pray.

Father, we are thankful.

We're thankful that you are a God who looks upon us with compassion and that your son, the great king of heaven and earth. And he is one who carried our sorrows and carried our guilt and our shame. One who is our everlasting hope. Hope that will be realized one day and we find ourselves entrusting our loved ones more and more to you and the son by the power of the Spirit, our one triune God and entrusting ourselves more

and more to you, looking to you with the eyes of faith. For truly you are deserving of us yielding our bodies as a living sacrifice to you to that day when we shall no longer be burden shall dis gaze upon your glory in the face of your son forevermore. And we long for that day in the midst of our sorrows and pains. We pray all of this in the strong name of Jesus. Amen.